On July 20th 2017 at around 6pm my time, I got the news that you had taken your own life in the early hours of Thursday morning. I never thought I’d ever be writing this, I seen you as a tower of strength.
Knowing your struggles that you made public from sexual abuse to depression and everything in between, I held you very close to myself because you had a very difficult time in your childhood and through adulthood, you remained strong and turned to music and what you created was just amazing.
Your soul was healing us all with your beautiful words your wrote and spoke. Each lyric was a heartfelt message to us all about not only your struggles but the struggles we all face and some only a few of us face. I had you in my life since I was 11 years old, almost being 29, you have been attached to me for the majority of my life.
All through pre-teens and young adulthood and man hood. The song that you touched me most with was ‘NUMB’ that is my all time favourite song of yours and your lyrics spoke to me, they touched me. I am numb right now as I write this open letter to you.
Chester your was more than just an idol to me, I loved you in every sense of that word, I always turned to your music in times of need, I felt so connected to you through your music, when I needed to cry I felt you was there, when I needed to scream your songs were there, when I just wanted to listen to your amazing voice, you was there. I honestly do not know if I could ever listen to your music again after we all lost you. It hurts too much, I listened to your lyrics deeply and I understood you was suffering just through your songs.
I never met you and you never knew I existed but trust me Chester that’s not important because I knew you and I love and loved you. I only wish we as fans had some grasp on how things were really getting to you, the loss of one of your best friends hit you hard. The loss you felt its real and I’m sorry for your loss. I will if ‘m ever lucky enough to have another child and its a boy I’m more than proud to say his name will be Chester.
Chester or Chaz as you’d like to be called, I will always love you and respect you and what you gave me is more precious than anyone could imagine. I hope you are finally at peace and your soul is finally able to rest safely.
I hope your wife and children are able to celebrate your life, because you was an amazing man with a pure heart of gold.
I love you Chester and I will forever miss you. Rest In Piece Chester X