Rapid emotions is pretty much the number 1 problem for BPD fighters, its a serious misunderstood and overlooked state by the society, which comes with judgements and humor directed at us.
The way it is for us Borderliners is like this within the space of 1 minute we can and do feel all emotions to the point of overkill, Sadness,Anger,Happy, Etc within a space of 1 minute we can go through all these emotions at such a pace we cannot hold onto one at anytime, suddenly we want pure love from that one person, next split second we want to never see them ever again, another split second we hope we never loose them.
Its often said like this – ‘Please don’t leave me – Just leave me ‘ ‘I Love you – I cannot wait to walk away from you’ it is quiet literally like this, how would a so called normal person be able to cope with this rapid change? I guess they wouldn’t would they.
This very issue makes life pretty much unbearable and makes you want to do things because its not just the emotions its the intensity of them, they are not just at a normal level they are in the hyper level to the point of destructive, it makes anyone who spends our life’s with us extremely difficult because on one hand you adore them and worship them and at a blink of an eye you hate them with such an intense feeling you could harm them. How would one cope with this? I guess not very well.
Triggers are a HUGE problem for us, its much worse when you do not know your own triggers, learning that takes a lot of time in my opinion and takes a lot of PAIN too, I know my triggers but it took a hell of a lot out of me to learn them, for me I often say to people when I’m in conversation with you I’m going through rapid emotions all the time and I have to try and control it inside while trying to stay focused on the conversation and trying to keep that mask on correctly because if they sense anything is happening to me then they will question me. like this ‘Hey something wrong’ and when things like that are asked at you, the spotlight Is on you and then your inside fights come to the forefront because someone has raised it so now you cannot ignore it even tho you cant ignore it anyway.
Rapid Emotions are devastating to the person, because at any second a emotion can pop up literally out of know where and then it can lead you down a road you may not of gone down.
I have a name for my states I call it ‘Bubbles’ I have bubbles of states of emotions and I know what bubble I’m in has soon has I wake and I know what emotions il go through while in that bubble. Its never a choice of what bubble I want to be in, if I had a choice id pop them all, but I don’t have a choice, but this is one thing iv come to learn to be able to do because now I know what bubble I’m in , I also know the emotions so I can try has best has I can to just roll with the punches and know I’m in this bubble, and try not to let it take me somewhere demonic.
Rapid emotions if you are aware of it then you can try to manage it but it is pretty much unmanageable to be honest. its like being blind in 1 eye and short sighted in the other, with the half eye you have got you can somewhat see where your going, rather than being blind in both, which renders you unable to see anything clearly. if your unaware of your rapid emotions then its like the blind in both eyes thing, because your walking down a road and have no idea why your going down this road, you may ask yourself 30 seconds ago I was making a cup of tea and 30 seconds later I’m here ,why am I here? ,That’s the rapid emotions and the inability to control them. which we all have this issue so don’t feel alone because we all are like this to some degree. some worse than others ,some much better than others.
Remember that the rapidness will go within a short space of time its not a long lasting thing, from personal experience and from what iv learned, so be asure to try and not let it, make you do something you’ve had little time to think about.
Like all cases in Mental Health – Awareness ,if your aware of it then you have some chance of changing things although like I said before its the blind in one eye, short sighted in the other. (I know short sighted in spoken in the reading sense, but I’m using in a different context). So guys just try and manage your Rapidness has best you can. Being aware of it does make a difference, if your only yourself that’s all that matters. is your opinion and your feelings.
Hope this blog was helpful to whomever may read it , Rapid Emotions!