Well il begin with what Suicidality is/means, It is defined has ‘A person who attempting suicide has a high chance of success’.
Within BPD suicide is has regular has breathing or blinking it is a matter of our daily life’s, pretty much there is not one single day that this thought or feeling isn’t there with us, for me personally its with me every hour of everyday
It is something that the so called ‘Normal people’ cannot seem to digest because the common phrase iv heard is ‘Oh stop feeling sorry for yourself, your an adult now grow up, your not the only one going through things,’ etc etc the ironic point about them remarks is the fact non of the people who speak these anti-Human words are NOT borderliners nor have any mental health struggles, they are deemed to be the so called ‘Normal people’ so by there definition of normality, its perfectly normal to judge someone and speak down to them and make yourself the king and them the slave this is according to how so called ‘Normal people’ speak and work in their anti-Human brains. Because they can do it so why cant you, all the time ignoring your mental state and putting labels on it. If you have bpd or any other mental illness the so called ‘Normal people’ will say something like oh its your such and such playing up today which is rather offensive. Because mental illness is regarded to be a attention seeking issue to some moronic people out there. Like would you say to someone who has cancer and they are telling you how much pain they are in, would you turn around and say to them oh stop feeling sorry for yourself. I doubt you would but saying these kinds of words to someone who is mentally ill is perfectly fine. Because in their minds mental pain and physical pain are 2 different things. when in actual fact its NOT there both equally has important has the other.
When you approach your family or friends and tell them your suicidal, the questions you get asked are quiet offensive and hurtful, again il go to the cancer reference if you told the same set of people ‘Iv got cancer’ would they ask the same sort of mornic questions like ‘WHY’. In my personal experience iv noticed the questions are always slanted and have hidden meanings such has’ Why do you WANT to do this to your family’ key word there is WANT, How offensive is that to someone who is suicidal ,just like the person with cancer why do they WANT that illness hey.
The only reason I’m using cancer has a reference point is because it hits to the heart of pretty much every person alive and instantly just saying that word revokes an emotion, so its a good reference point to help describe my points within this post.
Family and friends is one side of it, the other side is the mental health profession and the people within the MH system, depending on where you are in the world you may get different types of situations so I can only talk about the UK system and myself in this regard because I have no idea how the states is or Germany or japan I have no clue so I can only refer to the UK.
So when you go to see your GP and you tell them how your feeling, suicidal the response can be varied pending on the person really. you get nice people and you get total heartless bastards if I’m fair. But the process is long and painful and at points makes everything worse because it takes months to almost years to actually get help, instantly your checked to see if your a danger to people,family,yourself which is fair and fine but sometimes well a lot of the times what you say gets isolated and corrupted by the system. its so easy to take someones words out of context and make it something else. but actually listening to the person who feels so low, who is at such a point in their life where death is the only answer is perhaps the most devastating place to be within the mind,body,soul.
You need to understand what the person is going through and understand that they are not some nut or anti-emotion freak, they are a human who is struggling to cope
And they are begging for someone to help them, just put an arm around them, embrace them and tell them it all be okay and I’m here for you, just them few words can help make that person feel loved and wanted. which when your suicidal you feel nothing about yourself and you do think about the people you love and the pain you go through is UNMATCHED by anything iv personally experienced, and iv gone through the loss of children so me saying that line above I mean what I say.
Borderliners live day in and day out with suicidality because at any moment our rapid emotions can take us down a road at 1,000 MPH and we have no control there is no brakes and that makes us very equipped to finding success in this action, now when I say success I mean it in the sense of the action. NOT success has its determined in society, Personally success to me is feeling it inside ,and if that comes with this action who am I to judge and say NO your wrong, we are all our own person and no one, not one single human on this earth can tell you if what your feeling is right or wrong, even tho we get told that very thing quiet a lot.
This post is opening up what suicidality is like for borderliners ,now I cant speak for every borderliner I can only speak about myself and what iv seen with my own eyes from other borderliners etc, so please be aware I’m not speaking for the whole brush of borderliners but I think I know something about this has I’m 28 this year and iv had this awareness of this illness since I was 7 years old. so I know something about this but I’m not claiming everything I say is right 100% or even 10%. I can only speak about my own personal experiences.
I Hope this post was helpful to whomever takes the time to read it, also id thank you in advance for taking the time out of your day to read my post.